Have you ever asked yourself “Who am I?” It seems like an easy question to answer because when you introduce yourself to someone new, you always say, “Hi, I am ___, nice to meet you.” But when you demand an answer from yourself, I have recently realized, things get tricky.
I suppose that nobody can ever be one person for their whole life…. so I shouldn’t be upset that I’m not the same as who I was when I was younger- someone who believed in the 100% best in everybody and who would never ever second guess herself. How can I be the same person as then, when all of my circumstances have changed? I guess everybody goes through several versions of the self without ever coming to a complete identity. All of those versions, and altered selves make up who you are up to this point. So… is the right question to ask myself who I am right now?
I am Sidney. I am 21. My favorite time of day is around 10 in the morning when the sun starts to feel warm on my skin. I am an INFJ myers-briggs personality type; and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I love the smell of the Earth and cringe at the thought of other souls hurting. Although I have anxiety, I have every intention to live fully despite it. My favorite as well as least favorite place to be is where there isn’t a trace of anything I know because that’s where I find it most challenging; however, therefore the most meaningful place to be. I have an intense hunger to always want to know “why?”. I think my favorite season is spring, but I’m not quite certain. I criticize myself too much and love the taste of orange juice (with pulp). No matter how many hair tutorials I watch on YouTube, I can never succeed at any of them- so I leave my hair down and dull almost every day. My absolute favorite thing in the world is to see someone smile; genuinely smile from happiness (especially dog smiles; they melt my heart). Although I am positive and joyful most of the time, I get severe seasonal depression which can leave me staring at the same wall for hours. This makes me really sad because it is so out of character for me. I would never want anybody to feel that low, including myself. I recently moved across the country because I recognized that I was extremely comfortable with my life and routine so I decided to challenge myself (it worked). I love photography. I have a tendency to get caught up in being introverted and that might be my least favorite thing about myself. I hate cooking but love yoga. I admit that I have a poor taste in shows. I have an intense desire for a purpose and not knowing a definite answer for what that is yet leaves me feeling so very uneasy with myself.
I have a set intention for this point in my life: to learn to love myself wholly and with that, feel confident in connecting with the outer world more (despite my awkwardness and introversion). If you are reading this and can’t answer “who am I”, I want you to know that it is ok to feel that way. I say this because if you don’t have a definition of who you are, then you can be anybody. If you are searching and searching, (like I have been lately) then you won’t find your answer because you can’t just simply be anybody. So I guess you should just be your best self up to this point, in this moment. Discover what you like doing at this point in your life or even just today and do it without hesitation. Realize that your weaknesses are temporary and working towards improving is always a good thing, no matter if you succeed. So, join me in this adventure of self discovery! Take risks. Get brave. Get energized. Discover. Be creative. Be happy. Go back to the basics and ask yourself “who am I”? Make a video, write, paint a picture, make a song or leave a comment. I want to connect with all of you and find out who I share this Earth with. Thank you so much for taking the time to connect with me, my fellow Earth children. Until next time.
“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It’s so plain and simple, and yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.” Alan Watts
Happy Thursday! Sidney